I cannot want your success more than you do

 In my mid-20s, I got involved in the network marketing world. Say what you will about the industry: the one thing it does well is pump people full of personal development wisdom. Motivational talks, team huddles, daily doses of “you got this!” — it was like self-help on steroids and at that point of time, I needed that.

And buried in all that hype was one sentence that still punches me in the gut today:

“I can’t want your success more than you do.”

At the time, I brushed it off like just another pep talk. But looking back, I realize it’s one of the truest, hardest lessons I’ve ever learned especially when I started coaching and mentoring others.

Inspiration Isn’t Enough: You Can’t Carry People Who Won’t Walk

Whether you’re a team leader, mentor, freelancer, or even just a super enthusiastic friend trying to support someone — this hits home. You can pour your heart and soul into helping someone grow. You can hand them the roadmap, clear the obstacles, and even walk beside them.

But if they’re not willing to take the steps themselves? Nothing moves.

Not in business.
Not in growth.
Not in anything that requires consistent effort and ownership.

Inspiration only works if the other person wants to be inspired. Growth only happens if they choose to grow. Otherwise, you’re just wasting your breath.

When Drive Doesn’t Match

After leaving full-time employment, I started working with small businesses as a marketing consultant and project manager. Some partnerships felt like magic. The business owners were all-in: passionate, focused, hungry. Working with them was a joy.

But then there were the other ones. The ones who hired me, paid me, nodded along during meetings but never actually moved. It didn’t matter how many strategies I rolled out or how hard I worked. If the decision-makers weren’t making decisions, we were all just spinning wheels. Sad to say, the business didn’t grow.

Because, again, I cannot want your success more than you do.

The Hard Questions We Don’t Ask Enough

At some point of your professional or personal life, you’ve probably dragged someone across the finish line only to realize they were never in the race.

So here’s what we all need to ask:

• Do they want it enough?
• Are we aligned in vision and effort?
• How much of my time, energy, and even money am I pouring into someone who’s just… coasting?

Because the brutal truth is: when you stay too long in partnerships where you’re the only one paddling, you’re not just wasting time, you’re robbing yourself of the chance to build something better with someone who is ready.

Protect Your Energy

Your energy is limited. Your time is precious. And your success? It starts with how badly you want it, not how much someone else does. Working with people who don’t care enough is exhausting.

So here’s what I’ve learned (the hard way):

• Align yourself with people who match your energy.
• Know when to walk away from those who don’t.
• Recognize that your time and talent deserve better than dead weight.

You can believe in people. You can support them. But you can’t force them to care. At some point, you’ll need to stop waiting for others to catch up and start building with those who already get it.

And if you ever find yourself wondering why nothing’s moving, ask yourself this question: Who wants this more: me, or them?

Leadership, teamwork, even friendships, remember that they all come down to one question: Are we in this together, or am I doing this alone?