Recently, when I was being skeptical and tried to sway her from believing so strongly in something unproven, she calmly said, “If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for everything.”
I still don’t agree with the issue we were debating, but I gained a deeper respect for her.
You see, she wasn’t trying to influence me or prove she was right. She simply asked me to respect her for what she believes in. If she had agreed with me just to keep the peace, she would've thrown away years of personal beliefs and lived experiences. That would’ve made her… the old me. The version of myself that was too eager to please, quick to agree with everyone just to avoid conflict.
I used to be a “yes” person, easygoing and agreeable to almost anything people threw at me. I was always so afraid to speak my mind for fear of offending someone. I told people what they wanted to hear, not what they needed to hear. And while that made me likable, it didn’t make me respected.
Lorraine, on the other hand, is the complete opposite. She’s opinionated, speaks her mind, and stands firm in what she believes is right and true. Sometimes, I get so frustrated when we argue about our differing views that I want to pull her hair out but you know what? That’s one of the things I love about her.
Whenever I have a new idea or theory I’m unsure about, I’ll invite her out for coffee and we’ll debate it until we either find a satisfying conclusion or agree to disagree. People watching might think we’re about to bite each other’s heads off, but there are never any hard feelings between us.
That phrase she said didn’t suddenly change who I am, I’ve been someone who stands firm in my beliefs for about three years now. But it did help me realize something important: I don’t have to impose my beliefs on others. We all have different experiences, and those shape what we believe.
Instead of trying to convert people to my way of thinking, I should aim to share what I know, and just as importantly, be open to hearing what they’ve learned that led them to see the world the way they do.
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