Unlocking the Power of Your "Idle Time": More Hours Than You Think!

I often hear people say they're busy or that they simply don't have enough time. And while we all have the same 24 hours in a day, I've realized that the secret to finding "more time" isn't about compromising sleep (because, seriously, who needs that health hit?). Instead, it's all about how we view and manage those often-overlooked "idle times." You know, those moments spent commuting, stuck in traffic, waiting in lines, or even just chilling between meetings. I truly believe we have a surprising amount of unproductive hours that we can flip into gold.

In my article, I dive into 10 (plus a little bonus "questionable" one!) brilliant ways I've found to make these small pockets of time work for us, helping us chip away at tasks and reach our goals.

First up, educating myself. This is a total no-brainer for maximizing those dead zones. When I'm driving, I love popping on an educational podcast or audiobook. On public transport or waiting in line, I grab a good book. You can even learn while doing chores around the house!

Next, I'm a huge fan of creating lists. I used to suffer from anxiety and sleepless nights because my mind was just overflowing with things to do and random thoughts. That's why I swear by lists! A "To Do" list is super effective for recording tasks and planning my day, but I also make shopping lists, "customers to call" lists, "books to read" lists, and even a "What to do" list for those days when I'm just not sure what to do with myself. Honestly, some of the productive ways I share in this very article are part of my own "What to do" list!

Then, there's catching up with family or friends over the phone. We get so wrapped up in our daily grind that sometimes our connections can fray. I find that squeezing in some short phone calls or quick texts during idle time can really help bridge those relationship gaps. I'm not a huge fan of public phone calls, but texting works perfectly. While waiting for service or for my meal, I might give my parents a quick call or text friends I haven't seen in a while to plan an outing. I even know a friend whose kids studying overseas send her random photos of their food or daily activities via WhatsApp – it's so much more personal than just scrolling social media!

And for those small tasks that are important but not necessarily urgent? I say check 'em off! These little things can be a real pain if left unchecked. Idle times are perfect for getting them off my To Do list so I can prioritize the bigger stuff. Responding to an email, paying a bill, booking tickets, or filing receipts – these are all perfect for quick grabs of time, especially if I've already prepared my To Do list.

Who doesn't love a good snooze? I used to commute by train and loved my 45-minute nap luxury. So, yes, taking a short nap is on my list, especially if my work demands high concentration. A quick power nap can seriously re-energize me.

If I'm constantly on the go, moving from meeting to meeting, work to work, I've learned that practicing mindfulness is key. Sometimes, doing absolutely nothing is exactly what my mind needs. I practice being in the moment, silencing my mind, or doing some breathing exercises. It's incredibly beneficial for de-stressing.

For those who genuinely "don't have time" for the gym, I suggest short workouts. There's no need to slave away for an hour. If I have extra time after lunch breaks, I'll walk to a nearby park. If I'm doing video conferencing, why not grab my dumbbells and do some weight lifting? Just remember to angle that camera right so you're not panting on screen – that would be a little weird!

Writing or reviewing goals is another crucial use of my idle time. I used to be one of those people who'd set yearly goals and then... not really look at them again. But I've realized that to achieve my goals, it's important to pay close attention to them. I keep my goals written down or use apps like OneNote or Evernote. Whenever I have a spare moment, I take them out and review them. I might realize I've achieved some and want to set new ones. Doing this daily really helps me eliminate distractions and stay focused on my objectives.

Most successful people keep a journal, and I can attest to its power. Whenever I have the time to spare, I journal my thoughts. It helps clear my mind, and I can review it in the future. Plus, if you're a writer or blogger like me, journaling is fantastic writing practice. I've found that 10-15 minutes of journaling everyday can even help overcome writer's block. I used to blog inconsistently because I ran out of topics, but I realized it was more about not being confident in expressing my thoughts. Journaling helped!

Finally, I highly recommend learning a new language or improving your vocabulary. Being born and raised in Malaysia, I'm already multi-lingual, speaking and understanding three languages and two dialects! Even with English as my first language, there's always room for improvement in grammar and vocabulary. Learning a new language also provides an incredible opportunity to expand our knowledge of different cultures. Apps like Duolingo make it super easy.

And finally… there’s one not-so-productive way that I think can be beneficial nonetheless: playing games! I don't know about you, but I absolutely love playing games – mind games, trivia, board games, and especially video games! I even keep a deck of Monopoly Deal cards in my car so I can grab them and play with whoever I'm with while waiting for a movie or friends. Other games you can play during your idle time can be anything on your phone that helps you relax and de-stress. While brain-activity games are more "productive," I'm not uptight about it. When I'm not working or studying, I just want to let loose and immerse myself in my little fantasy world of gaming.

Ultimately, by spending my idle time effectively, I've found that I can increase my productivity and actually feel like I have more time as a result. Most importantly, I don't have to compromise what I enjoy doing just because my schedule is packed. I encourage you to look for those idle times you can "steal" throughout your day!

Want to check out the original article itself?

Read my full article here!

If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for everything

This is a journal entry from December 3, 2012

This is a phrase I'm sure many of you have heard before. I’ve heard it countless times too, but it never really hit me until Lorraine said it to me.

Recently, when I was being skeptical and tried to sway her from believing so strongly in something unproven, she calmly said, “If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for everything.”

I still don’t agree with the issue we were debating, but I gained a deeper respect for her.

You see, she wasn’t trying to influence me or prove she was right. She simply asked me to respect her for what she believes in. If she had agreed with me just to keep the peace, she would've thrown away years of personal beliefs and lived experiences. That would’ve made her… the old me. The version of myself that was too eager to please, quick to agree with everyone just to avoid conflict.

I used to be a “yes” person, easygoing and agreeable to almost anything people threw at me. I was always so afraid to speak my mind for fear of offending someone. I told people what they wanted to hear, not what they needed to hear. And while that made me likable, it didn’t make me respected.

Lorraine, on the other hand, is the complete opposite. She’s opinionated, speaks her mind, and stands firm in what she believes is right and true. Sometimes, I get so frustrated when we argue about our differing views that I want to pull her hair out but you know what? That’s one of the things I love about her.

Whenever I have a new idea or theory I’m unsure about, I’ll invite her out for coffee and we’ll debate it until we either find a satisfying conclusion or agree to disagree. People watching might think we’re about to bite each other’s heads off, but there are never any hard feelings between us.

That phrase she said didn’t suddenly change who I am, I’ve been someone who stands firm in my beliefs for about three years now. But it did help me realize something important: I don’t have to impose my beliefs on others. We all have different experiences, and those shape what we believe.

Instead of trying to convert people to my way of thinking, I should aim to share what I know, and just as importantly, be open to hearing what they’ve learned that led them to see the world the way they do.

I cannot want your success more than you do

 In my mid-20s, I got involved in the network marketing world. Say what you will about the industry: the one thing it does well is pump people full of personal development wisdom. Motivational talks, team huddles, daily doses of “you got this!” — it was like self-help on steroids and at that point of time, I needed that.

And buried in all that hype was one sentence that still punches me in the gut today:

“I can’t want your success more than you do.”

At the time, I brushed it off like just another pep talk. But looking back, I realize it’s one of the truest, hardest lessons I’ve ever learned especially when I started coaching and mentoring others.

Inspiration Isn’t Enough: You Can’t Carry People Who Won’t Walk

Whether you’re a team leader, mentor, freelancer, or even just a super enthusiastic friend trying to support someone — this hits home. You can pour your heart and soul into helping someone grow. You can hand them the roadmap, clear the obstacles, and even walk beside them.

But if they’re not willing to take the steps themselves? Nothing moves.

Not in business.
Not in growth.
Not in anything that requires consistent effort and ownership.

Inspiration only works if the other person wants to be inspired. Growth only happens if they choose to grow. Otherwise, you’re just wasting your breath.

When Drive Doesn’t Match

After leaving full-time employment, I started working with small businesses as a marketing consultant and project manager. Some partnerships felt like magic. The business owners were all-in: passionate, focused, hungry. Working with them was a joy.

But then there were the other ones. The ones who hired me, paid me, nodded along during meetings but never actually moved. It didn’t matter how many strategies I rolled out or how hard I worked. If the decision-makers weren’t making decisions, we were all just spinning wheels. Sad to say, the business didn’t grow.

Because, again, I cannot want your success more than you do.

The Hard Questions We Don’t Ask Enough

At some point of your professional or personal life, you’ve probably dragged someone across the finish line only to realize they were never in the race.

So here’s what we all need to ask:

• Do they want it enough?
• Are we aligned in vision and effort?
• How much of my time, energy, and even money am I pouring into someone who’s just… coasting?

Because the brutal truth is: when you stay too long in partnerships where you’re the only one paddling, you’re not just wasting time, you’re robbing yourself of the chance to build something better with someone who is ready.

Protect Your Energy

Your energy is limited. Your time is precious. And your success? It starts with how badly you want it, not how much someone else does. Working with people who don’t care enough is exhausting.

So here’s what I’ve learned (the hard way):

• Align yourself with people who match your energy.
• Know when to walk away from those who don’t.
• Recognize that your time and talent deserve better than dead weight.

You can believe in people. You can support them. But you can’t force them to care. At some point, you’ll need to stop waiting for others to catch up and start building with those who already get it.

And if you ever find yourself wondering why nothing’s moving, ask yourself this question: Who wants this more: me, or them?

Leadership, teamwork, even friendships, remember that they all come down to one question: Are we in this together, or am I doing this alone?

Tapping into the World of Video Games (A Throwback Post)

When I wrote this blog post back in October 2020. I remember the rising cases of Covid in Malaysia. At that point of time, people started to panic quite a bit when the cases hit 432. Thinking back, it was nothing compared to tens of thousands of cases later on but we didn't know that then. We braced ourselves for lockdown to happen again.

At this point of time, I was still working on my doctorate thesis on gamers' purchasing behaviours so I was working on my research. I wrote the following in the original blog post.

Living with Anxiety: What I Never Expected

For the past few months, I’ve been dealing with anxiety. It’s not new to me in the sense that my partner has suffered from it for years, and I have friends who also struggle with it. I always tried to empathize, but I never fully understood how debilitating it could be until I experienced it myself.

It’s hard to describe anxiety to someone who hasn’t felt it. The heart palpitations, the sense of impending doom, the sudden urge to cry or panic for no apparent reason. It’s like a storm in your mind, convincing you that the world is against you or that something terrible is just around the corner. At times, it feels like you’re on the brink of collapse or worse.

For me, anxiety is even scarier because I already have high blood pressure. When an anxiety attack hits, my fear of having a heart attack or stroke sends me spiraling into full-blown panic mode. Sometimes, I’m even afraid to go to sleep, worrying that I might not wake up. It’s a vicious cycle that’s hard to break, and the fear itself feeds the anxiety, making it worse.

Anxiety attacks don’t just affect my emotions—they take a physical toll as well. During worse episodes, I experience muscle spasms, headaches, nausea, and a complete loss of appetite. It’s incredibly hard to focus on work when I’m in pain, but I try my best to remain professional, especially during meetings. I’ve had to power through the discomfort and find ways to make up for lost time, often working nights and weekends when I feel capable.

I’m grateful that some of my clients are also friends. They’ve been understanding and don’t demand too much, which has been a blessing. Their kindness gives me a bit of breathing room to manage my work while navigating these challenges.

Social interactions have become especially challenging. I don’t want to meet people or engage in conversations that feel shallow or revolve around gossip and complaints. Those were already draining even before the anxiety, but now they feel unbearable. Instead, I’ve found comfort in spending time with empathetic and positive people. Even if we’re just sitting in silence, their presence makes me feel cared for, and that’s enough to recharge me.

One thing I want people to understand is that anxiety (and depression) doesn’t always stem from obvious triggers like a bad experience, hurtful relationships, or work stress. Sometimes, it just is. I’ve always been a positive, playful person, vibrant and full of energy. But that version of me feels like a distant memory. I miss her too, but I know I have to take things one step at a time.

Admitting that I’m struggling with anxiety and depression hasn’t been easy. I hate feeling vulnerable, and my default reaction is to bottle everything up. But I’ve realized how unhealthy that is. I don’t want my friends or family members who are going through similar struggles to feel the need to do the same.

For me, writing has always been a way to release that pressure. Whether it’s journaling or blogging, putting my thoughts into words helps me make sense of the chaos in my head. If you’re reading this and it resonates with you, I want you to know that you’re not alone. It’s okay to feel what you feel, and it’s okay to seek help or find your own way to cope.

We’re all works in progress, and that’s perfectly okay.

“Treat People the Way You Want to Be Treated” is a Misguided Advice

The classic Golden Rule most of us have heard goes something like this: "Treat people the way you want to be treated." This statement kept getting throw at our faces whenever we talk about effective communication and interpersonal relationships. For the longest time, I think it's downright a crappy advice.

Imagine you’re a social butterfly, an extrovert who thrives on human interaction. You love throwing parties, hosting game nights, and texting your friends about the latest thing that made you laugh. Now, if you follow this "Golden Rule", you treat everyone exactly the way you want to be treated. So, what happens when you cross paths with an introvert? 

Disaster. That’s what.

You probably think you’re doing them a favour by including them in every social gathering, inviting them out for coffee three times a week, and texting them hourly updates about your day. From your perspective, this is how you’d want to be treated. But to them? You’re suffocating them. Instead of treating you the way you want to be treated, they end up ghosting you. That'll be the opposite outcome of what you're hoping for.

My Personal Experience on How this Golden Rule Misfire

The year prior to the Covid-19 pandemic, my partner and I were going through a rough patch health-wise. Some well-meaning friends decided to follow the Golden Rule to a tee. They constantly checked in on us, asking how we were doing around the clock. While their intentions were good, it didn’t feel supportive, it felt intrusive.
We gently asked for some space to process things on our own. Their response? Showing up at our house uninvited, determined to "be there" for us. It was stressful. Imagine being physically and emotionally drained, and then having to entertain someone else’s expectations of what support should look like.
Safe to say, these friends are no longer in our lives. Their inability to respect our boundaries showed us that they weren’t really being empathetic as they were projecting their own needs onto us.

Why the Golden Rule Fails in Practice

Let me explain further why this advice doesn't hold this advice doesn’t hold up. It assumes everyone is like you! This is my biggest pet peeve, which is a clear case of trying to impose one's values or beliefs on others.

1. Different Personalities

Let me use the MBTI lingo here. What energizes one person might exhaust another. Extroverts may thrive on constant interaction, but introverts might find it draining. Imagine treating someone based on your own needs instead of theirs, your good intentions could easily be misinterpreted as overbearing.

2. Diverse Values

Some people value practicality over sentimentality. For instance, if you’re the type who loves grand gestures, you might shower a friend with gifts. But if they value quality time over material things, your effort could feel hollow. I personally feel overwhelmed when I receive gifts, I'll then feel the obligation to purchase gifts in return. But if I do know that gifts are their "love language," I'll do so at random moments, not necessarily on any special occasions as I don't like the stress of having to get something just for the sake of it.

3. Varied Coping Mechanisms

During tough times, people handle emotions differently. Some need a shoulder to cry on; others need solitude. Assuming everyone wants the same form of support can unintentionally make things worse. For me personally, being left alone works best. That's why I stopped telling people if I'm going through tough times. Their response has always been "Let's meet up and talk about it" which to me, it's making me way more stressed. I appreciate their good intentions but it's not what I need during my difficult times.

4. Cultural Differences

In some cultures, direct communication is appreciated; in others, it might be considered rude. Applying your cultural norms to someone with a different background could lead to misunderstandings or even offense.

5. Unsolicited Help

One of the biggest traps of the Golden Rule is assuming your help is always welcome. Sometimes, the kindest thing you can do is step back and let people handle things in their own way.

Out with the "Golden Rule", In with the Empathy Rule

Instead of treating people the way you want to be treated, treat them the way they want to be treated. This approach isn’t just kind, it’s empathetic. It requires you to step outside your own perspective and consider what the other person truly needs or values.

This means understanding that not everyone is wired like you. Your extroverted friend may love surprise visits and daily check-ins, but your introverted coworker might just want a text saying, “Hey, no pressure, but I’m here if you need anything.” The effort to tune in to someone’s unique preferences can make all the difference.

Here are some simple ways on how to do it:

1. Observe and Listen: Pay attention to how people communicate, what they prioritize, and how they behave.
2. Ask Directly: When in doubt, ask. A simple, “How can I support you?” or “What do you need right now?” shows that you care without assuming.
3. Respect Boundaries: If someone sets boundaries, like needing space, respect it. Don't call them when they clearly don't want to talk or show up at their home uninvited.
4. Adapt Your Approach: Flexibility is key. Adjust your behaviours based on what the other person values. For example, if a friend loves words of affirmation, try to compliment them.
5. Learn About Different Personalities: Tools like the MBTI or the Love Language helped me, and I think it can help you understand personality differences. While you shouldn’t box people into categories, these frameworks provide insights into how others think and feel.
6. Practice Emotional Intelligence: Cultivate skills like active listening, empathy, and emotional regulation. Being emotionally intelligent allows you to connect on a deeper level.

I understand some of us may have some questions or not fully agree with the approaches above. The following questions are asked of me before when I was sharing the empathetic approach, so I'm including them here with my responses.

"What if someone’s preferences are unclear?"

If you’re unsure, ask. It’s better to clarify than to assume. Most people appreciate the effort to understand their needs.

"It’s exhausting to cater to everyone’s preferences." 

Of course it takes effort. But practicing empathy doesn’t mean bending over backward for everyone. It’s about understanding what matters most to the people in your life and finding a balance that works for both of you. My personal approach is that I know I can only give a 100% care to a few people in my life and they're my priorities. For everyone else, I just need to find comfort in knowing someone else are caring for them. I'm only one person. I can't care for the world. Don't put the burden of that onto yourself. If you only have the capacity to care about two people, then just focus on those two.

"What if someone’s needs conflict with mine?"

Communication is key here. If a compromise isn’t possible, explain your situation honestly. Empathy isn’t about sacrificing yourself; it’s about mutual respect and understanding. I'm an introvert with the greatest number of extroverts as friends. I'm sure they can "survive" without meeting me all the time. I hang out with them occasionally but other than that, just knowing they're alive and well is good enough for me.

"Not everyone knows what they want."

Sometimes, people need time to figure it out. Why the need to for us to rush them to know what they want? Just continue with the basics be kind, be patient and be there if they want you to.

The Golden Rule is well-intentioned but it's too basic and ineffective. By treating people the way, they want to be treated, you build deeper, more meaningful relationships. You show respect, not just for their preferences but for their humanity.

How to Accept and Deal with Harsh Feedback as a Content Creator

Feedback to content creators is like a double-edged sword. It helps us grow and improve on one end, and on the other, the harsh ones can hurt like a soccer ball slammed into my face (true story). I know this from personal experience. Recently, I received what I thought was constructive criticism on one of my YouTube videos. The comment pointed out areas I could improve, which was fair, but it ended with, “Clear case of someone to avoid following if they cannot give clear information.” Talk about going for the jugular when I'm still trying to grow my channel!

Still, I need to stand by what I believe. I always ask for feedback, so I need to graciously accept it even though it's painful. I thanked them for the feedback and made the necessary changes. It wasn’t easy, but I’ve learnt to look at feedback, even harsh ones, as a necessary part of growth. If you’ve ever struggled to handle criticism, especially when it’s delivered in such a harsh way, I hope this article can offer some "pain relief." Let’s explore why feedback is important, how to evaluate it, and how to keep our emotions in check.

Why Feedback is Useful

First, let’s get one thing straight: feedback is gold…Okay, maybe not all, but they're valuable. Here’s why:

• It uncovers blind spots: As creators, we can get so close to our work that we miss the obvious flaws. Feedback helps us see what we might overlook.

• Audience Connection: Feedback tells us what our audience values. You can still create content without ever finding out what your audience needs. Sometimes you strike gold, especially when you have just the right personality that people can relate to. Not all of us are like that. We do need to at least have some rough ideas of what our audience wants to hear or see, so feedback helps.

• It Builds Resilience: If you can take criticism without throwing your laptop out the window (please don't), you’re on your way to being a stronger, more professional creator.

As a design thinking practitioner, I’m trained to validate my work with others. It’s part of the process that involves getting input, iterating, and improving. But I can vouch that no amount of training can fully prepare you for feedback that feels like a slap in the face. Some people deal with it better, and others… like me, will probably sit in the corner and sulk for a bit before we can pick ourselves up again.

How to Evaluate Feedback Effectively

Not all feedback is created equal. Some are gems; others are just noise and crap, especially coming from trolls and haters. Here’s how you can separate the useful comments from the ones you should toss out like yesterday’s leftovers:

• Focus on the Message, Not the Tone: I studied MBTI, so I learned that feedback coming from the Thinking type can feel like a slap as it's wrapped in sharp words. They don't intentionally try to hurt our feelings, but it's just the way they communicate. Focus on the core message that's valuable. With my YouTube comment, I had to mentally peel away the harsh tone to get to the constructive part, and it helped me improve my content.

• Look for Patterns: If multiple people mention the same issue, pay attention. One person might be having a bad day, but recurring feedback usually points to something that needs fixing.

• Ask for Clarity: If the feedback is unclear, don’t be afraid to ask follow-up questions. Most people appreciate when you genuinely want to improve.

• Check for Relevance: Consider whether the feedback aligns with your goals and audience. Some comments may simply reflect personal preferences that don’t apply to your broader vision.

Navigating the Emotional Side of Feedback

Now, I know it's not easy to do this when you feel the stings, but here are some ways to handle it without losing sleep (or your cool):

• Acknowledge Your Feelings: It’s okay to feel hurt. Give yourself a moment to process your emotions before reacting. For me, it usually involves pacing around the room and muttering things like, “Seriously? ONE mistake, and I’m unworthy?” or sometimes I just grab my Schnauzer and hug him for comfort. Do what feels right for you, but don't be a keyboard warrior and start writing things you'll regret later on. You may be able to delete your harsh replies, but one screenshot of your retaliation and you're done for.

• Reframe Your Perspective: Instead of seeing criticism as a personal attack, view it as a tool for growth. Yes, even the harshest feedback can be helpful if you’re willing to dig for the lesson.

• Focus on Your Wins: Remember, one negative comment doesn’t erase all your positive achievements. For every harsh critic, there are likely ten silent viewers who appreciate your work. I've seen how some YouTubers receive nasty feedback, and the responses come from their other viewers, who defend their work. There are really good people out there who truly want to support you. Believe in that.

• Practice Empathy: Sometimes harsh feedback comes from a place of frustration or misunderstanding. Try to understand where the person is coming from without taking it personally.

Practical Tips for Handling Feedback Gracefully

Once you're done punching the walls (I would recommend sandbags as they're friendlier to your fists), let's see what you can do with the feedback.

• Respond Calmly: Thank the person for their input, even if it’s delivered poorly. A simple, “Thank you for your feedback. I’ll work on improving this,” goes a long way.
• Make Amends: If the feedback highlights a genuine mistake, fix it and let your audience know you’ve made improvements. This shows professionalism and humility.
• Create a Feedback Process: Use tools like polls or surveys to validate your work, especially when it involves a huge amount of effort and time. This can save you from big headaches later.
• Just Ignore Them: Know when to engage and when to let go. Some comments are best left unanswered, especially if they’re purely negative without offering value.

Feedback is part of the journey as a content creator. Remember, it’s not about being perfect; it’s about being open to improvement. So, the next time someone critiques your work, take a deep breath, focus on the constructive part, and keep creating. After all, one mistake doesn’t define you, but how you respond to it does.